Rough week: I apologize for today's weak post. Really bad week. Perhaps the weekend will hold the answer for someone close.
This here site is one of my own long-time escapes from the sometimes ugliness of the world, and quite helpful to participate at this here time. Shit happens now and then.
Ya know.
Fuck it, let's have a bit of mental vacation, for a while, cool?
*Ahem*
The whole catalog, in chronological order, for the themes of The Star Wars Trilogy, with theme points demarked in minutes.
I need a good laugh.
BEER! Um, from coffee beans that have gone through an elephant. Yes, it is them daring epicureans from the Isles of Nippon that have yet again found the craziest thing to ingest. And pay $1,100.00 for a keg.
Of course, some islands are scarier than others. Here is the Isle of Lesbos, but not in a good way.
What if you had all six winning Powerball numbers, but couldn’t claim the jackpot? It happened to one Pasadena woman. Margit Arrobio purchased five Powerball tickets at a local Shell gas station Wednesday evening for a chance to win that night’s jackpot, which at the time was $360 million. The next morning, Arrobio tuned into ABC’s Good Morning America for the winning numbers and found out that her card matched all six numbers, but the television show reported that no winning ticket had been sold. So what was the problem? Arrobio bought her ticket a little too late. “I called my gas station where I bought the ticket and I said, ‘I don’t get it. I have every number and yet they say there’s no winner,’” Arrobio said. The person at the gas station asked her what time she made the purchase, and that’s when Arrobio realized she’d bought the ticket around 8 p.m., about an hour after the numbers had already been announced. Arrobio said she was first shocked and then disappointed. The Powerball jackpot climbed up to $590.5 million on Saturday. The single winning ticket was sold at a supermarket in Florida.
The only solution in situations like this is to immediately kill yourself. There’s absolutely no consolation after thinking you’ve won $360 million and finding out you won absolutely nothing. Whether you’re the one person left out of the winning office pool or you lose your winning ticket or the numbers you always play come up as winners on a night you missed, whatever. No matter what the circumstances are, when you think you’ve just one hundreds of millions of dollars only to come to the realization that you didn’t win dick and you have to continue living your shitty life, you gotta just off yourself.
Not before killing the dickhead at the gas station who sold you that bogus ticket first though. The fuck is that guy’s problem? Is that his idea of some funny prank? Print up a winner that you know isn’t eligible? Or is he just an idiot selling tickets to old jackpots whenever he wants? Either way that guy needs to be murdered. Instead this chick is just sitting around smiling for the camera flashing her winning-but-not-winning lottery tickets like its some funny story. I tip my cap to you, lady. We’d be staring down the barrel of a murder/suicide or at the very least a dangerous, dangerous bender if it was me in your shoes.
"Wadi Al-Salaam is an Islamic cemetery, located in Shia holy city of Najaf, Iraq. It is reputed to be the largest cemetery in the world. It is estimated more than half a million corpses are interred in the cemetery each year. The cemetery covers 1485.5 acres (6 km²) and contains millions of bodies."
Sometimes in life, I feel like I am the Chauncey Gardner character in that classic movie, "Being There."
Here's a pic of his buddy's funeral scene in that movie. Get ready for the Illuminati aspersions, baby.
For you younger folks, it would be akin to "Forest Gump," but on a much smaller scale.
I don't have much, but what I do have, I sure hope no one notices that I really don't deserve any thing at all.
Just lucky to be here.
Now for your links, and there will be some not safe for the job/work/thingy material. It will be properly denoted. If you have employment, then you are lucky as well. Wouldn't want to risk losing that.
Don’t jump on a hood when someone runs you over. If you do, hopefully you don’t have to ask a
dumb person to call the police for you.
“Uh, tell me one more time what happened?” Stupid.
Don’t jump off a roof with a bungee cord. If you do, make sure your bro lets go of the
cord or he’ll join you.
Beer Scooter Just saying that you have been there. And if you haven't, then you might be just a tourist in life.
Wish I could go back in time, at 88 MPH. But, here’s Glove and Boots on why time
travel is bad, told by hand puppets.
Hey, it’s very well done, ya doubter.
Now for some more horror.
Oh, the horror. Hey, I’m a
self-professed horror writer. But trying
to bring some cred to the genre. But
this is cute. Horror pics Photoshopped
into endearing movies.
Speaking of horror: Gainer? WTF is a
Gainer? Well, here is one. Tammy.
She apparently sees gaining wait for some odd internet
fetish as the only way to make money.
Here’s a workout for her. Amazing New Workout, from Brosh. Kinda loud, turn down your headphones/ speakers.
To wit, gawd help ya, Angie Jolie, with your decision. Let’s look at your loveliness, nsfw.
Speaking of time travel, here’s a very cool set up, not too
much $$.
We do what we can to avoid the vestiges of time. How about some real real, to put you back
into the moment? Gunfire. This is Australians against the enemy. 25 mm cannon. Bunch of these recently downloaded by F*350
Antidote to the real real: momentary diversion. Queef explained by a girl with large
mammaries. I lasted about thirty seconds.
Wife hates that.
Gary Barton’s homage to the 5 Second Films thing. They should hire this guy.
Horror has many levels, as we have seen today. We rise *ahem* and we fall *flaccid* and then we like to smoke a cig (still quit)
or roll over and go to sleep. Let her
sleep in the wet spot. Below is a soft,
dulcet tune for you as you make your way upon the ruins of humanity and the
IRS, with our executive branch that pounds on the window at night, like the kid
in Poltergeist with a creepy clown under his bed.
I am the creepy clown under your bed, but the executive branch
is the real Horror.
Postal Service Such Great Heights. (Single word lip sync is intentional in Ben Goddard's singing)
Enjoy your day, and thank you for visiting Rich Fowler’s
Mighty TDC.
God Help You.
God Help Us All.
---willies out
OK, One More For You
The next part of the ending to the tale. Truth, or TRVTH, as was written long ago in a
distant land.
Some wealthy Manhattan moms have figured out a way to cut the long lines at Disney World — by hiring disabled people to pose as family members so they and their kids can jump to the front, The Post has learned. Rich moms shamelessly hire disabled tour guides so their kids can cut long lines. The “black-market Disney guides” run $130 an hour, or $1,040 for an eight-hour day. “My daughter waited one minute to get on ‘It’s a Small World’ — the other kids had to wait 2 1/2 hours,” crowed one mom, who hired a disabled guide through Dream Tours Florida. “You can’t go to Disney without a tour concierge,’’ she sniffed. “This is how the 1 percent does Disney.” The woman said she hired a Dream Tours guide to escort her, her husband and their 1-year-old son and 5-year-old daughter through the park in a motorized scooter with a “handicapped” sign on it. The group was sent straight to an auxiliary entrance at the front of each attraction. Disney allows each guest who needs a wheelchair or motorized scooter to bring up to six guests to a “more convenient entrance.”
You can’t even get mad. If you want to paint a picture of these moms being from of some secret 1%-er Disney crippled kids club, fine, but that’s clearly not the case. Usually in stories where the very wealthy are gaming the system they’re using connections, assets, and means that aren’t accessible to us penny-pinching normals. Clearly not what’s going on here.
See, crippled children are available to us all. Maybe the price is a bit on the high end ($1,40 for an eight-hour day), but you could probably just find any wheelchair kid of your own and get he/she to roll around and skip lines at Disney for a quarter of that price. Exactly why this is the type of story that the liberal media doesn’t want you to know about. Because while the media is busy painting the upper class as abusive and entitled, they’re failing to report the reason why they’re rich in the first place — innovation.
It’s ideas like handicapped Disney speed pass children that keeps America on the cutting edge and ahead of the rest of the world. It just so happens that many of these great ideas come from the rich. Cutting lines with a rented wheelchair kid is a brilliant idea. Is it their fault that they’re rich? Haters only demonize because they’re jealous.
Waiting in line is the sole reason it takes a day to see a park. So if you rent a wheelchair person and just buy the one day any park pass you might be able to do four parks in a day. You could, in theory, save money?
