Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Guy vows to spend 30 minutes a day without his iPhone

(NYT) - Last week, I drove to Pacifica, a beach community just south of San Francisco, where I climbed a large rocky hill as the sun descended on the horizon. It painted a typically astounding California sunset across the Pacific Ocean. What did I do next? What any normal person would do in 2011: I pulled out my iPhone and began snapping pictures to share on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.“What’s wrong with me?” I thought. “I can’t seem to enjoy anything without trying to digitally capture it or spew it onto the Internet.” Hence my New Year’s resolution: In 2012, I plan to spend at least 30 minutes a day without my iPhone. Without Internet, Twitter, Facebook and my iPad. Spending a half-hour a day without electronics might sound easy for most, but for me, 30 unconnected minutes produces the same anxious feelings of a child left accidentally at the mall.

I’ll be honest, when I first read this headline I planned on ripping this guy. Oh you’re going to go 30 minutes a day without your smartphone?! Are you going to hunt your own food too? Maybe travel by horse and buggy? Grow up, living life for 30 minutes a day exactly like they lived it 10 years ago isn’t that hard. But then I thought about it for a second: that shit is fucking HARD. What do you do during a commercial break? What do you do while taking a shit? What do you do on the T? What do you do in traffic? What do you listen to in the car? Is there even regular radio anymore? How ’bout at the movies when they play that bullshit before the previews start? Do you just lay in bed before going to sleep? Like you don’t check Twitter or anything? The whole idea is crazy to me. And I know everything I just brought up is over the span of an entire day and not a sitcom, but the point still stands. If I want to honestly devote all of my attention to something I need to put my phone in the other room. Just out of habit I will reach for it no less than 100 times in a 30 minute span. So if this guy goes the entire year and has 10, 950 combined minutes sans iPhone I will be fucking impressed.

PS – this reminds me: if you made a New Years resolution for 2012 just shut the fuck up. Don’t post it in the New York Times, don’t even talk about it. No one cares. If you want to pretend you’re going to be a better person this year for a few weeks that’s fine, but keep it to yourself. Go piss $700 dollars away on a gym membership and move on with it.

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