Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Snooki is Hot !!

First, rumors began to swirl that “Jersey Shore” star Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi is pregnant. And now insiders tell both People magazine and E! Online that the TV personality is engaged to her boyfriend and expectant father, Jionni LaValle.

Congrats on the o/u 1.5 year marriage! I mean, I would take on this sauced pig too if I knew in just over a year I would get a payout of a couple mill. But to actually think this Jabroni is going to spend the rest of his life with this festive cunt muscle is outrageous. It’s a business move, plain and simple. She shits out a kid, they get divorced, he gets paid. Transaction completed.

Gets me thinking though, what celebrity would you least like to marry? Not some pseudo-marriage where you’re just doing it for the money or you know you can break it off whenever, but to actually go in knowing you would have to spend the rest of your life with them no matter what. Here’s my least top 5:

5. Madonna - Only has 30 years max left, but that’s 30 years too many of being able to take her forearm in the ass twice a day. Bitch would wear the pants and then some.

4. Sarah Jessica Parker – “Hi, allow me to introduce you to my wife, Seabiscuit.”

3. Angelina Jolie – Always found her annoying. Plus she looks like she’s giving away too much of the food she should be eating to the starving African children she adopts.

2. Snooki - Every fiber of my being would be used to hold me back from stabbing her in the face then myself in the dick.

1. Khloe Kardashian – I’d want to die, but I wouldn’t want to go out by being eaten in my sleep.

Here we go .....

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