Saturday, April 7, 2012

Weekend At Willies: Ball Me






Wake up to CISPA. Internet freedom under attack again.

Bastards.

Why do we need cybercensorship?

FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK.

I mean, that is not very nice, old chap.













Track that shit here.










Wake up with coffee, or a fighter jet crash?










I've had and continue to have dreams of aircraft falling from the sky and coming down towards me and my family. Now don’t go all Freudian on me. It means nothing at all. Nothing will happen on 12-21-12, and I don’t hold cotton to that bullshit.




Why, one night last weekend I awoke all sweaty and trembly from a nightmare where a navy helicopter was losing control above my house and I told my ladies to get the fuck out.



(Ahnold voice: “Get Down! It’z Zee Choppah!” ) So this actual event got my thong in a bunch.









Speaking of nightmares, my older but still quite young sister Kimmer took my lady out to see the Hunger Games on Thursday night.

Chick date. Yeah, I had important “work” to do online (make your own jokes, ya bastard) but what’s even more spurious and curious is that my sister and my wife are best friends.


God knows what they talk about. Me? Boo Hoo. Fuckers.




So here’s a spoof of that movie they went to see.








Speaking of major calamitous events, here are James Cameron and his CGI crew viewing their digital reconstruction of how the Titanic went down.











Antidote: Another Jimmy Kimmel instructional video for proper parenting. Silverstoning your child. It involves feeding your young like a mother bird does for her hatch-lings.













For you science nerds out there, here’s something interesting. Either the limitations of the Large Hardon Collider have been found, or there is no evidence to be found for the many extra dimensions that super string theory implies. Or, God got mad at us peeking behind his curtain?






Here is something interesting from our Man In Chicago: Entropy_Happens.

To wit:

“This will make you cringe! About 1.5 hours from my house - this is near Ball State in Muncie, Indiana. The type of injury and the name of the hospital is so apropos it is doubly painful.”


It seems that a certain bitch did the absolute worst thing a woman can do to a man. She grabbed her man’s balls and twisted.


And held on.


For a loooong while.


Thanks bud. Now I will have even more nightmares.



And no, read that sentence up above correcky. She does not have man’s balls. These were the balls of her man.




Nice pic, BTW. The flagpole is straight and proper.






In tribute to Bon Scott. It helps.









NSFW





The following links are all NSFW.



There are folks who employ something essential to my tribe, and many other cultures across the globe: The Oral Tradition.


No, this is not about oral sex, which is quite excellent, but about story-telling.



Comedians are the best users of this ancient tradition, and it is my belief that to censor cuss words is to limit this fine art.


Fuck censorship. Fuck CISPA.









Drew Hastings. Irked and Miffed.



















Greg Giraldo. Snacks.














The late, great Robert Schimmel.















Doug Stanhope. Stinkless Pussy.














Adam Ray. Sheep Tits Lady.











God Help You.


God Help Us All.


---willies out.












OK, One More For You.



The excellent genius Dave Attell had this show, once upon a time, where he would check out the nightlife of different cities and drink while his camera man followed him. He got paid for this important work. What a hell of a job. Here is a video of customers and fast food workers cussing each other out. It’s how you are supposed to conduct the transaction. Fuck yeah.





















OK, yet one more for you. Do Not Watch. This is from CBZ on his site. Zombie Ass. Thanks dude. Now I will have even more nightmares.




I hate getting the willies.




yeah, right.



























nsfw
























.
Welcome to The NEW Daily Column!!