Friday, July 20, 2012
Alcoholic Water Is Upon Us
Foodbeast – Move over Mac, this Air is set to steal the hearts and wallets of hipsters nationwide. New Air “Alcohol Inspired Refresher,” created by the Mckenzie River Corporation (MCR), is something like a vodka soda, only not, having gone through a “patented process” which leaves it “virtually odorless, colorless, and tasteless,” like vodka, but being malt-based rather than distilled. The result is a carbonated, mildly alcoholic (only 4% ABV) water-soda-malt-vodka hybrid that is touted to be the “first” of its kind. According to Drink Spirits, Air comes in berry, citrus and club flavors; is highly carbonated; and is best served chilled, which helps to mask the already minimal malt-based flavoring. Best of all, since it is malt-based and each can only holds about .48 ounces of booze, you can buy it in your local grocery store right next to the beer.
Well it looks like this is the latest development in the world’s never ending quest to get trashed in the easiest possible way. Booze water. I can get down with that. Everyone pretty much knows at this point I’m not a High Horse tough guy when it comes to booze. I’m not choking down Jameson if there’s some donut flavored vodka available. I’m not looking to drink a dark, heavy lager with all sorts of hops and barley and shit. Gimme a Bud Light so I can drink them fast and easy and get fucked up. So, I’m down with some bubbly water juice that gets me wasted.
One day booze water is just gonna flow from your faucet at home. Better yet eventually theres just gonna be rooms where the air is alcoholic. Just breathe in the oxygen and you’re fucked up. I guess thats similar to just smoking drugs, but whatever. For booze bags like me, alcohol air vents sounds more fun.
PS – How cocky was that jet pack guy? Plunging in and out of the water like some sort of fucking Aquaman submarine. Ascending to the dock to touch his fans hands. Had to be the cockiest rocketeer I’ve ever seen. Had my fingers crossed the whole time he was gonna fuck his shit up like the “Its Starts Right Now!” guy
Stupid Jet Pack Guy !!
Here we go .....
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Music Break ...