Saturday, July 21, 2012

Weekend At Willies 4uck-head Rant

There is what we commonly know as Badass in our public consciousness, and then there are fuck-heads who do sad, sorry shit.

You know, when some fuck-head takes advantage of our public trust and shoots a bunch of people who went to see a show, there is only one reason he does it.

It is to see himself on the news.  He hopes to be remembered as an evil badass.

Fuck that shit.  And fuck the story-whores in the media who keep running pictures of his face and saying his name over and over again, and making their own assumptions about why, why, why.

It's all me, me, me, for them and for the fuck-head.

That simply encourages other fuck-heads to try to do the same shit, and to do more harm to the rest of us.

You are not a badass when you maim innocent folks.  You are not a crime fighter.  You are misguided, or haven’t been guided at all.  You are a fucking loser.

Don’t blame it on entertainment, don’t blame it on video games or music or black trench coats or body armor or guns or lack of the Bible, like these political shills.


Blame it on the asshole.

Blame it on bad parenting.  Yup.

Fuck you, asshole, and you other assholes who are inspired by this kind of act.

Below are some things to enjoy, as entertainment for you, while you have some free time from doing constructive work for yourself, for others, and for us all.

It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you cause no harm to others.  We have free will, we have freedom to do as we please in this excellent country: the best there has ever been.

Just don’t be a fuck-head, right?  

Don’t keep showing his smirk on the television.  Lock him away so he doesn’t see the light of day again, and ignore him in the media, or you will contribute to the fuck-head disease.

Perform experiments on his brain while he is awake, to see what makes him tick, just for the fuck of it.

That’s all a fuck-head deserves, nothing more.

So how is your Saturday?  Let’s take a mental vacation, so you can go back to the news afterwards, all refreshed for another round of media handjobs all around there.

Jeez.  I need to stop getting all pissed over and over again.


Let’s blow it up, baby.

So here’s Neil DeGrasse Tyson talking about his life as Mr. Science Nerd Extraordinaire.  He does good work for all of us, if you don’t know by now.  Gotta give him props.

Here is Onionlike.  No, not a Tumblr about someone who likes onions.  Instead, it’s about true life media headlines that look like they have been created by the mighty Onion.

As a reference, in case you have been stuck in a bat cave holding cell since before the invention of the Internets, here is The Onion. Ignore the ad splash.  The Onion should indeed make some cash, but they mean you know harm.  No malware or viruses, baby.

You know, Olympia Snowe is US Congress Senator from the state in which I reside, ME, and she has done admirable work in many fields.  She is retiring due to all of the bullshit going on in Congress these past few years.  So what does she intend to do in her retirement?  She will be doing a cameo in a funny show, called Parks and Recreation, of which there are multitudes in ME.   Have fun, OlympiaYou deserve it.

Nothing against Olympia Snowe, but some women choose to wear makeup, and some are pretty without it.  Here are some dudes who drag it all out, in these before and after split-pics.  Uh, well, huh.     Why do this?

Antidote, what is better than a nice pair of boobies?  Three.  You might totally recall the alien space chick from that Arnie movie, but this is much better.  Always remember to give each one the same attention, even if one is slightly larger than the other one, or the other one.

Even better, here is a slightly NSFW link from the CBZ on his site.  Chicks who work out.  Thanks, Cranberry Zero.  You work hard so that we---  ya know.

We should go back to the 90’s when it was a simpler time.

Or, we should go back to the 80’s when there was a fellow who did very bad things.  He was a dumbshit, but he was not an evil fuck-head. 

God Help You.

God Help Us All.

---willies out.

OK, One More For You.

Instead of doing evil things for no reason at all, why not do something truly excellent, even if you may risk your life?

Let’s go for a walk on the fucking moon, baby.

Welcome to The NEW Daily Column!!