Friday, August 31, 2012

Chipotle Caught Stealing Your Pennies Like Their Own Evil Office Space Scam

Chipotle locations around the country have been doing just that. A few confused New Jersey residents were caught off guard recently when they noticed their checks were rounded up to the nearest even amount. The Star-Ledger’s Karen Price Mueller investigated and found that in Chipotle’s busiest markets — such as New York City and New Jersey — its registers round down or up depending where the coin falls nearest to a nickel. A spokesperson for Chipotle told the Star-Ledger that the company employs the practice to curb long lines and create greater efficiency in these high-volume locations.”The idea is simply to limit the possible combinations of change on cash transactions to keep the lines moving quickly in high volume areas,” spokesman Chris Arnold tells the newspaper. “It was never our intention to have a policy that was confusing or misleading,” he told He also explained to the New York Times that Chipotle hasn’t seen any kind of profit from the practice. As of August 1, Chipotle locations in New Jersey will no longer be rounding up, only down, a spokesperson told Consumerist.

“Hasn’t seen any kind of profit” my ass. Companies don’t just enact gamechanging penny-rounding register technology without some kind of thought behind it. How is reaching for pennies going to save any more time then having to reach for quarters, dimes, or nickels? How does this even impact a line where most of the customers are probably paying with debit? This whole thing smells fishy like the fish tacos Chipotle doesn’t yet sell.

My best guess would be that after tax most of these transactions rounded up. And I’d also bet that the Chipotle brass adjusts their regional prices accordingly to make sure they cash in on those extra pennies. It’s just like Office Space, only instead of it being one lowly cubicle monkey with a bank account it’s an entire multi-million dollar publicly-traded corporation. Those devious fake Mexican bastards!

What’s that? Your stock hasn’t been doing too well lately? I’m sure stealing pennies from folks like me just trying to get down with a chicken burrito bowl with black beans, corn, pico de gallo, hot sauce, salsa, lettuce, a little bit of cheese, and no sour cream has nothing to do with responding to your falling profits.

Be more professional. We ain’t stupid.

PS – The kid (pictured above) who was counting his pennies and first told The Star Ledger — Jayson Greenberg. I shit you not.

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