Saturday, August 25, 2012

Glistening and Throbbing Summertime Tales

Beer = Summertime.


Beer good.

Help a Brother out, by Dave Grohl

Summertime song for you.  Time lapse.  Excellent work, you youngsters you.

A summertime read for you, on the beach:  Fifty Shades of Summertime.

The water droplets on her breasts glistened in the sunshine like diamonds from the darkest, deepest snatches of Africa.  She rose from the blow-up pool in a slow-motion sort of way, like in an old movie with the soundtrack of The Cars “Moving In Stereo” playing.

I felt my trouser snake squirm and begin to throb, as it lengthened and made its way down my thigh.  I would need to take a dip.  I got up and staggered, and then I fell against the picnic table and spilled my Zima all over my lime green “couch,” (I mean) "crotch."  I was wearing speedos.

She giggled demurely as she walked by, and I caught her eyes glancing down at my crotch and then at my thigh as I lied there in the potato chips.  I turned to watch her as she went to sit down at a table behind me, and followed the rivulets of water streaming down the backs of her tanned legs from her dripping crotch.  Her bikini bottom was pink like what I was sure was hidden inside.

I thought about legitimately raping her, but then decided that I should hear a horrible but funny song beforehand.  


Bikini Fails.   No, bikinis don’t come off, and the song sucks, so turn it down way low.  But still and all, pretty funny to see cute chicks acting all hot and then they fail.

Antidote, from CBZ.  Bikinis are excellent.

Political, about beers:  Fuck, dude. Really, isn’t there a better way to go about running the country than whoring for a petition to find out the beer recipe used by the White House?

There’s science involved in the creation of beer, my friend.  Bill Nye, the Science Guy knows about Creativity.  Have another beer, Bill.  Ok, I will.  The world wasn’t born in a day 6,000 years ago.  Or was it?

Maybe it’s time for a Mentos Bad Breath Breaking?

Perhaps summertime is the time to have a girly-man drink?  How To Make a Daiquiri.  Great channel.  Explore their other recipes.  Richie knows how to make all kinds of drinks, so he must have the best poolside parties.  This video does not involve Richie.  Perhaps he will make one of his own?  Calling you out, bro.

Antidote to good times:  An asshole in Norway gets only 21 years for killing 77 people.  Nice job, Norway.  I would like a new laptop in prison for my deeds as well, if I ever did that shit.

OK, don’t think that Norway has all of the crazies.  Some fucker in New York somehow was able to shoot some innocent folks from the Empire State Building.  Really?  That easy?  I mean, Really, why do that?

I apologize for going all willies on you. It’s what I do. Let’s get back to summertime fun, shall we?  Let’s “Get Insane In The Membrane” of a squid’s skin.   Pretty cool that squids can change color to an old school beat.

Tomorrow, I will have a new chapter of my tale for you.  I have to go "wipe off" in the bathroom.

Too much squiding, if you know what I mean.

God Help You.

God Help Us All.

--willies out.

OK, One More For You.

Lights out, in L.A. in a nice time lapse.


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