Tuesday, September 25, 2012

The Morning After

The pilot program that allows teens to access the contraceptive drug Plan B in 13 New York City schools — perhaps the first of its kind in the country — may be eventually implemented citywide. According to the city’s Board of Health, parents can “opt out” of the program, but only 1 to 2 percent has chosen to do so. “The proof is in the pudding,” said health department spokesman Chanel Caraway. “Overall, this suggests that parents are OK with the service being available to their children.” Last year, when the plan was implemented, about 4.7 percent of the 12,000 girls enrolled in those schools was given the prescription drug, according to the Board of Health. Students ranged in age from 14 to 18. This year, the program was expanded from five to 13 schools, and Caraway said they intend to continue expanding to eventually cover all of the city’s public schools.

I remember when I was a kid I’d come home from school with those stupid fucking UNICEF boxes that we’re supposed to take trick or treating. Now schools are giving out Plan B to bitches so they don’t get knocked up. Unreal. The times they are a-changing. 14 year old chicks walking around with little Baby Bombs ready to nuke a fertilized egg because some dude blew up inside her. Thats just nuts.

Great news for high school boys, right? There is straight up nothing more terrifying than worry about getting a chick pregnant when you’re in high school. Well, at any point in a guy’s life. But specifically in high school when you first start having sex because not everyone is on the pill. I used to rock those dry, non lubricated Trojans because I didn’t wanna risk anything. Like I didn’t even want the lubricated ones because I just wanted straight dry rubber to catch my cum. I used to look at the Ultra Thin package and be like “Where are the extra thick ones?” But now you can rest easy because every girl you bang already has access to her abortion pill. Great stuff.

Here we go .....

Remembering Ken Hall, the Sugarland Express

He's the all-time legend of high school football. In his senior year he averaged 337 yards per game rushing.

Are you impressed yet?

If not, consider:

1. He was a quarterback. (Sometimes. He also lined up at tailback.)

2. He often sat out the second half.

Oh, yeah - he also played the trumpet in the marching band at halftime.

My favorite Ken Hall stat: in one game he rushed for 520 yards on 11 carries (47 yards per carry). But that's not all he did that game. He also ran back a punt 82 yards, ran back a kick-off 64 yards, and picked up another 21 yards on defense via an interception. (He played safety in his spare time. Most stars played both ways back then.)

He scored 7 TDs

We haven't gotten to the good part yet.

That all basically happened in the first half. (He played a few minutes after the break.)

And then there was another game where he was never tackled: 7 carries, 7 TDs.

And football wasn't his best sport. (That would be track & field.)

You're a weird dude, Hemingway. Weird dude.

Did space rocks from other planets bring life to Earth?

Im going with fake !! what do you think ?

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Music Break ....

Welcome to The NEW Daily Column!!