Thursday, November 29, 2012

Powerball Win: 22 Days To Spend It?






You know, the Mayans are kinda pissed off at folks for blaming them for the end of the world on December 21st.  They assert that when any calendar ends, you just put the next one up on the wall.  The world doesn't end when Miss December is kindly folded up and stuffed into the recycling bin.

That being said,  didja getcha Powerball tickets yesterday?

If you had won last night, and we all had only a month left before the planet explodes or whatever, how would you spend that half a billion dollars until then? 

Tell us here in the forums


Wouldn’t you miss this place?  We can do things like mashup Goonies with LOTR.

Dr. Neil Degrasse Tyson’s thoughts on: Does The Universe Have A Purpose?

The answer to the universe may come down to this:  “Wanna see my tits?  The vacuum cleaner man has.”

There must be an answer.  Do not look for the difference between Republicans and Democrats from an Indian Man like me.  That stuff has been here for only a few hundred years, and it really seems to make little difference at all across the thousands of years my tribe has been here.  We adapt, but we hold true to our own truths, baby.  You try to figure it out and get back to us, wouldya be so kind?

Here’s an antidote.  Get a Subway sammich, like that chubby Jared dude.  What happened to him anyway?


Paintings that look like pics.  Jeremy Geddes.  Fucking wow.

Certainly we are the only living creatures in our solar system, and the only ones alive among the billions of other solar systems across our Milky Way Galaxy, which is one of many billions of galaxies out there…

And most assuredly, it would take millions of years for some aliens to fly in a spacecraft to come say hi even if they did exist out there.  That would take a lot of bathroom breaks and getting up to stretch so you don’t get clots in your legs.  Plus a whole bunch of magazines and music on your ipod for the trip would get boring to keep checking out.  I bet the airline attendants would become bitchy a half million years in.

Then the trip would begin to really suck.

They would probably stop handing out bottled water and those salty little pretzels in tiny bags.

That being said?  What if there is the remotest possibility that the world will end, should I grab cash before then?

Damn it, I probably wouldn’t get my refund from Amazon in time to spend it before the end of the world.  Friggin Mayans.  Friggin Christmas.  Dayam.  Can’t win the Powerball, can’t lose the World.

I should have camped out in front of the Dollar Store on Black Friday.

God Help You.

God Help Us All.

---cheap willies out.

OK, One More For Ya.

Does The Universe Have A Purpose?  Actually, most likely. Current great thinkers give their answers, here.

Welcome to The NEW Daily Column!!