Saturday, July 13, 2013

The Possibly Tragic Tale Of The Chicken

Well, I’m trying out that Beer Can In A Chicken’s Ass thing again (as I write this and set it autopost at 12:05 AM), and my attempt ain’t turning out all that well. 

I keep standing her up and she keeps falling over.  Any ideas?

I don’t want to use any of the aluminum insertion devices we use for the turkey oil-boiler, because that might melt them or otherwise scorch them handy tools.


Let me clarify.  I am not trying to stuff a beer can up the behind of a live chicken.  The dead ones are easier to manage and they taste better.  After they been cooked.

I think the beer is taking hold.

I have a bed of charcoal going in the Weber grill, which I named Princess Leia, after some sort of space movie, and I am trying the Beer Can Chicken slow roast, you see.

I named this charcoal grills this because cooks well, but it’s high maintenance.  (I almost lost my hand one time. Never use gasoline to start the briquettes Luke.  Hey, I was young and the Force was new to me…)

So, here we go again with the charcoal grill.

Bill Nye The Science Guy’s only hit:

Leia   by Donnie Iris 

I save the LPG for the ceramic grill for pork chops, fish filets, whatever.  Usually, I flay  the chicken on the rib side, slather real buttah and seasonings under the skin and lay it over the gas grill rib side down for a half hour or so.  165 degrees at final therm check.


The Weber charcoal grill is for slow roast, like for a couple racks of ribs (curl them up and stand them on one end, after the brown sugar and savory spices rub, and hey, I make my own bbq sauce as a condiment for tossing after them ribs and such have set for a good ten minutes to re-collect the juices, and also for them to re-collect what bad things they must have done to end up in such a manner) and I like wood chips of apple trees or cherry.

I wept as I had to let half a can of beer go to the chicken.  Inside it.  Alcohol abuse= wasted beer.

But slow-smoked beer can in the ass chicken?  I dunno. I put down some heavy duty tin foil so the shit wouldn’t douse the briquettes and apple wood chips, but it ain’t coop-erating.

How do You do this beer can chicken thing?  Insert skewers?  Make something out of a tomato can?

Help an honest Injun out, would ya?

Fuck it.

OK, back again, no loss of appendages.

It looks like it will be good.

Now for more drinks, umm, links for ya. 

Enjoy your weekend however go about it.

The Beer Inside   by INXS  

Man of Steel movie, as critiqued by Half In The Bag guys.  

The Mr. Plinkett guy was introduced here, three years ago.

NSFW due to titties.  Now, how can anyone hate tittiesOr Ta Tas? (Warning, turn the sound OFF.  But funny video.  

This makes me want to watch them Mad Max movies all over again.

99 Problems with a chick, or a chicken?  

Gary Larson interview, from 27 years ago.  Damn.  Time flies, huh?  Soon we’ll all be like ‘Tucky winding up the grandkids, and when we’re done having fun with them, we are done having company.  Good night and Gawd bless.

NSFW section

Problem with the Leia grill.

Irene might be a better name for the grill.  

Awww.  Fuck it.

I should just explode the grill.  Like Johnny exploded the Depp.

Exploding Johnny Depp - watch more funny videos     

Oh, By The Way, the chicken turned out very tasty.  

Evidently, the beer can helped to not dry it out. 

Never Dry Out.

See you tomorrow for another chapter of the ugly tale I’ve been telling you, free for you because I don’t sell out.

God Help You.

God Help Us All.

---willies out.

OK, One More For You.

Simpsons, in gritty crime art style.   


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